Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
