Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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