whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
