Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
