just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
