i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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