i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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