IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
