Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
