babies were throwing up all over the place
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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