I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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