It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
