I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
