ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
