College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
