All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
