just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
