before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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