I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
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We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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