if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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