I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
