Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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