I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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