her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
