As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I love you. Go after that dick
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize