We're like a lot better than the average bears
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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