with your own penis?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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