He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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