I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
