She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
