your parents love me but you hate me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
