After last night, I could never be a politician.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
