'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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