She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
