I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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