You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
