She's JV to your varsity
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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