he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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