I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
