Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
