dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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