What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
