Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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