You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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