We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
