Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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