I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
