your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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