I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
