so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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