My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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