i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
