Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize