he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's shark week go big or go home
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
