you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Someone came in the potted fern
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
