no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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