sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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