I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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