Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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