i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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